Until It's Gone
by greengirl82
Summary: What happens when someones taken from you before you get the chance to tell them how you feel?...


**Until It's Gone**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, not me...

Summary: What happens when someone's taken from you before you got to tell them how you feel?

Timeline: AU Present Day

Special Thanks To: the anonymous reviewer '**Wow**' without you this would of never popped into my head. Thanks.

A/N: So I came up with this, I hope you all enjoy it.

Thanks for reading, remember to leave a review.

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><p>Benjamin Franklin said, "Life's tragedy is that we get get old too soon and wise too late."<p>

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><p>Emily felt her cheeks blush when she accidentally bumped into Hotch while she was setting her tea cup in the sink in the break room.<p>

"Sorry." Emily murmured as she walked past the Unit Chief.

"It's all right." Hotch said slightly amused by her demeanor.

Emily felt her heart beat faster when he gave her a smile, as she turned to head back into the bullpen she felt him grab her arm.

"Hotch?" Emily asked surprised by this, felt her stomach flutter when he leaned down and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

Hotch wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping her close to him as his tongue dominated her mouth.

Emily pulled back, gasping for air, "What was that?"

"I don't know." Hotch said trying to control his rapidly beating heart.

Emily bit her lower lip, she slowly looked up and seen Hotch give her a look she couldn't decipher and walk out of the break room swiftly.

"Well... that was weird." Emily murmured to herself.

Emily went back to her desk, trying to concentrate on her case files in front of her but the break room kiss kept replaying in her head, and she couldn't figure out if this meant Hotch had feelings for her too.

She was trying to take her own feelings out of the equation, she already knew how she felt for Hotch but this wasn't about her, this was about him. And whatever he wanted, she just hope he didn't regret the kiss because she didn't.

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><p>Emily looked up and noticed Reid was packing up, ready to head home. She hadn't even realized how late it was until now.<p>

"Night Emily" Reid called out to her with a wave.

"Night." Emily called out, looking down surprised she only had two case files that needed to be finished.

Signing off on the finished ones, she promised that once she got home she'd pay attention and not get distracted by Hotch and his amazing kiss.

Standing up, she walked over to the small television, pausing when she heard the news anchor reporting on three escaped prisoners from the Department of Corrections. She briefly wondered if they'll have to work on that tomorrow since it was a federal prison that they three inmates escaped from.

Walking up the catwalk, she paused briefly outside Hotch's office before knocking on the door.

"Come in" Hotch replied, looking up at her, his eyes piercing hers as she tried to not appear flustered or nervous.

"Here are the rest of my case files" Emily told him, "I'm going to take the Lester and Martinez files home with me."

"Fine" Hotch told her, she flinched at the harshness of his tone and placed the files on his desk "Good night, Prentiss."

"Night, sir." Emily said marching out of his office and back to her desk.

She quickly grabbed her stuff, cursing her school girl crush as she rushed towards the elevator to head to the parking garage.

Emily walked over to her car, and looked up when she heard a noise that made her on edge. Pulling out her gun as she placed her bag next to her car.

"Whoa, don't shoot" Anderson said raising his hands up in surrender, "It's just me."

"Anderson?" Emily said, "Jesus, didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on an armed agent?"

"Sorry." Anderson apologized holding up her cell phone, "Well I thought you might need that."

"Oh, thanks." Emily said holstering her weapon as she took her cell phone, "You know Hotch would of killed me if I..."

The two agents were stunned when two masked men jumped out of a van and grabbed at them, causing Emily to drop her cell phone.

Emily went for her gun and the last thing she felt before blacking out was she hoped that whatever happened next that someone finds out they were missing.

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><p>Garcia strolled through the parking garage when she heard the sound of a familiar ring tone. She knew that ring tone, hell she set up that ring tone.<p>

Gasping as she saw the sight of blood she rushed forward and seen Emily's cell phone and her go bag next to her car.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God" Garcia gasped out pulling out her own cell phone when she felt a hand touch her shoulder causing her to scream.

"Baby Girl, calm down it's just me." Morgan said, "What's wrong..."

"Emily... something happened to Emily." Garcia said trying to catch her breath, "Look there's blood, that's her cell phone and her car."

Morgan peered over as he looked at the scene in front of him, "Go upstairs get Hotch, Dave and call up the crime scene unit."

Garcia nodded, "You'll find her right?"

"I hope so" Morgan said, "Do me a favor, Garcia. Pull up last night security feed."

Garcia rushed out, hurrying to the elevator while Morgan kneeled down looking at Emily's phone without touching it.

He could see that she had halfway dialed a number and seen it was Hotch's office phone. He looked in between her driver's side door and the wall and seen her go bag on the floor.

"What the hell happened?" Dave asked rushing over while Reid pulled on plastic gloves going for the cell phone/

"Emily's been kidnapped." Morgan said, "Blood splatter on the ground indicates a possible head wound. Her go bag is tore open."

Hotch answered his ringing phone, "Hotchner. What? All right. I want you to go through her file we created when she went missing during the Doyle case."

Morgan watched the crime scene unit take evidence while Hotch looked over at him and Dave.

"What?" Morgan asked, "What is it?"

"Emily and Anderson were abducted last night by two masked men." Hotch told him.

"Anderson?" Reid asked, "Why was he in the parking garage with her last night?"

The four men moved towards the elevators to return back to the bullpen, "Garcia looked at the security footage, it seems he was returning her cell phone to her right before they were abducted."

The team walked into Garcia's office, and seen the blonde analyst and JJ watching the footage over again.

"It seems that they were subduing Anderson to get to Emily." JJ told the men, "Seems they thought he was the bigger threat."

"They obviously didn't know my gumdrop" Garcia said looking at the screen seeing Emily kick the second man who knocked Anderson out before being chloroformed.

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><p>Hotch sat in his office, he could feel the guilt consuming him. All he wanted was to find Emily and tell her how much he loved her and how sorry he was that he couldn't protect her again.<p>

He kicked himself over why the hell he pushed her away after their kiss.

Garcia knocked on Hotch's door, "Hotch? I went over Doyle's contact list and the only ones unaccounted for are Phillip O'Leary and Colin Pierson. Both men were last spotted in the Dominic Republic the week after Doyle's death."

"So it's not them." Hotch said, "Did you contact Easter and asked him about any other dangerous unsubs who'd target Emily?"

Garcia grimaced, "He said that he didn't think that it was anyone from her JTF-12 days. He thinks it could be someone from her time with the Bureau, more specifically the BAU."

Hotch rubbed his head, he didn't have time for this, Emily and Anderson were literally hanging by a thread.

"Ok, you and Kevin need to go through her arrests with the BAU and the Bureau. Hit every unsub that even made a threat to her, we're running out of time." Hotch told her seeing her nod as a tear fell down her cheek.

"You'll find them right?" Garcia asked, "We can't lose her again."

Hotch turned away from her, he knew she was right. He didn't want to lose her, but he couldn't make promises.

No matter how much he wanted to promise her, promise himself that they'd find them, he couldn't.

He heard his office door close and he closed his eyes, "Please Emily, please be all right."

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><p>Hotch felt completely useless. He couldn't find his missing agents, he couldn't protect her from whatever danger was lurking out there that just took them right off of their own home turf.<p>

He didn't even get to tell her how he felt about her, he knew he was an utter failure.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make something of this situation." Dave told him from the doorway, "I don't want to walk by here and see you wallowing in self pity, Aaron."

"Dave, someone just took two of my agents right under our noses and left no trace of them. No ransom demand, nothing. What am I suppose to do?"

"Get off your ass and help us look." Dave said, "Believe it or not, we're all trying to find Emily and Anderson. So I want you to get up, grab some coffee and come down to the bullpen and help."

Dave turned to walk away, "And when we find her you can finally tell her how you feel, because we all see it."

Hotch walked down in the bullpen and heard Morgan's angry voice tell another agent, "They're still alive until we know otherwise. Go look over those files in her bag."

Hotch grimaced when he seen his team look at him with sympathy on there faces, "What have we got?"

"Hotch, one of the cases Emily was reviewing? The San Antonio strangler?" JJ reminded him, "She was going to leave the questions that the LEOs had asked the strangler, there was a note that she made, about the lead detective..."

"Patterson?" Dave asked, "I remember she told me she thought something was off with him when he questioned the unsub."

Garcia clicked on her computer, "Patterson has a connection with that unsub."

"What?" Morgan asked, "What kind of connection?"

"They went to high school together." Garcia said, "That was back when fifteen, he was adopted by his maternal grandparents and legally changed his name when he was nineteen, that's why we didn't know it, it was sealed in Patterson's records."

"And what does this have to do with Emily or Anderson's disappearance?" Hotch asked, more concerned for his agents.

"Well if Emily figured out that, it could result in a mistrial for that unsub and he could be released." JJ commented, "He was eyeballing her..."

"It's not him." Reid said looking up from the memo that Agent Gina dropped on his desk, "The police just found an abandoned car by the Potomac River. There's blood and they say its one of our agents."

Hotch felt like he was sideswiped by a truck, "Who?"

"They want us down there." Reid said.

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><p>"We found the car a little over an hour ago. We found her credentials in the front seat and one of my deputies spotted the blood on the trunk of the car." Sheriff Wayne told Hotch, Morgan, and Dave while walking over to the back of the red SUV, "When we checked the news we heard about two of your agents being abducted, we called you right away."<p>

"What were the extent of the injuries?" Dave asked, the unusually calm agent was too shaken with grief to look at the car.

"Beaten beyond recognition" the sheriff said softly, "I've been doing this job for nearly twenty five years and I've never seen anything like this."

The BAU agents stood at the back of the car, Hotch looked over at the sheriff, "Open the trunk."

"Are you sure you want to see this?" the sheriff asked.

"It's my agent, I need to see." Hotch said looking at the back of the car.

The sheriff nodded and popped the trunk lid, stepping back while Reid winced and closed his eyes while JJ sobbed. Morgan wrapped an arm around the blonde agent and looked away.

"Hotch" Dave said, softly he just walked away.

"How long did it take for..." Dave asked the sheriff.

"The Medical Examiner thinks he died from internal injuries," the sheriff said, "They think he died three hours after the beating."

"Any trace of Agent Prentiss?" JJ asked trying to compose herself.

"No, there was only her credentials in the front seat." the sheriff said, "I'm sorry for your lost."

Dave looked back at his team and took control of the situation, "We need to get back to the BAU and put this in the profile."

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><p>"We're looking for an unsub who is escalating" Reid said, "He's reached the breaking point and no longer able to contain self control."<p>

"The unsub is a thrill seeker," Morgan added, "He's got a partner but he's totally dominate over, they took two armed agents and felt no remorse at beating one to death."

Gina winced at that, looking over at the desk of her partner and friend, "How do we find Agent Prentiss? Now that Anderson's gone, how long will she have?"

Hotch shot the female agent a look, "We have no idea, this unsub doesn't follow any rigorous pattern like any other we've dealt with before."

"Are you sure this has nothing to do with any past case from Agent Prentiss' JTF days?" another agent asked, "Because this seems kind of familiar but I can't place were."

Gina turned around, "You're right, I remember."

"Remember what?" Dave asked as he, Hotch and Morgan approached the female agent.

"That night that Anderson and Prentiss went missing, I was finishing up some paper work, I saw Prentiss approach the television about to turn it off when breaking news came on about a prison break with three missing inmates..." Gina said, "I recognized one of them as from a previous case your team did..."

JJ looked over at Garcia, "Did we get any requisitions about helping the locals on a prison escape?"

"I don't remember..." Garcia sobbed, clicking on her computer, "Yes, three inmates broke out the three hours before Emily and Anderson..."

"Who Garcia, focus." Dave said hating himself for having to sound harsh but it was the only way.

"Paul Masters, Charles Carter and Vincent Perotta..." Garcia said looking up to see Hotch's face fall at that name.

"It was him. Perotta took Emily." Hotch told Dave and Morgan, "I know it's him."

"How the hell would he even know who she is" Morgan asked, "Perotta was already locked up before Emily joined our team."

"Wasn't he working with the mob?" Dave asked thinking back on the case he heard about, "He probably still had some contacts and he was never after Emily..."

"He was targeting me for locking him up." Hotch said looking over at Emily's desk then Anderson's, "This is all my fault."

Hotch marched up the catwalk towards his office slamming the door shut, he needed to think. He needed to find Perrotta and get Emily back before she ended up dead like Anderson.

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><p>"Hotch, we've got something you need to see." JJ said from his doorway watching her team leader get up and follow her to the conference room.<p>

"What is it?" Hotch asked seeing the looks the team was giving him, "What?"

"An anonymous email came in" Garcia said clicking on her computer to pull up on the large screen, "Look."

Hotch read the email, and frowned, "This isn't from Perotta."

"Nope" Dave said, "This has to be the work of Michael Russo. It's obvious that they heard about Perotta's escape and it's been all over the news about Prentiss and Anderson's kidnappings."

"And they knew about the BAU being responsible for Perotta's incarceration." Morgan said, "I'm thinking they're going to want some kind of a deal."

"Sir" Garcia said, "The Baltimore P.D. went all over Perotta's childhood home and found nothing linking to where Emily's being held..."

Hotch sighed, looking over at Dave, "Can you get in contact with Russo and broker some sort of deal with them to get locations of Perotta's safe houses?"

Dave contemplated that, "I'll figure something out."

Reid looked from both men, "But we don't have any clearances from Strauss, the Director or the D.A. to make any deals."

"That's not a top priority, Reid." Morgan said, "Finding Emily is."

Hotch went back to his office, he tried to concentrate on the file in front of him. Perotta's file but he kept going over the information he knew about him, the only thing that calmed his guilt ridden mind was that Perotta hated torturing woman. He remembered that much from the case years ago, but what if time had changed that?

Hotch knew that going after two federal agents was something that the thrill seeking sociopath would love, and those agents being someone close to Hotch would hurt him beyond anything. And not knowing what she was going through was bad, even knowing his past and how torturing got him off.

His office phone pulled him out of his inner turmoil, "Hotchner?"

"I know where your agent is." a voice said, causing Hotch to sit up while texting Dave to trace his call.

"Where?" Hotch asked, praying that he got to Emily in time.

"She's in a compound in Maryland" the voice told him, "Vincent's got her in a bunker underground."

"Address" Hotch said grabbing a pen while Dave and Morgan rush in, while Hotch struggled not to reach through the phone and shake the caller senseless for the address.

Hotch wrote threw down the phone, "We've got it."

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><p>Racing out of the car, Hotch drew his weapon and vowed that if anyone got between him and rescuing Emily he'd shoot first and not even care about the consequences.<p>

"Go search the house" Hotch whispered to JJ and Reid, "Take a couple of uniforms with you. Keep your eyes peeled, we'll be in the back looking for the bunker."

Hotch, Dave and Morgan went to the back, eyes intent on finding Emily, finding Perotta.

Dave moved to the left when he noticed movement, "Federal Agents, freeze."

Hotch and Morgan rushed over when they heard a gun being fired.

"Perotta" Hotch said leaning down to him, "Where's Agent Prentiss? Where is she?"

All three men watch Perotta laugh as he gasped his final breaths, "Somewhere you'll never find her."

"Agent Morgan?" a policeman said, "We've got something over here."

Hotch got up, watching the life drain out of Perotta's eyes as he got up and followed his agents into the small shrubs.

Dave peered down, "It's the bunker, help me move this."

Dave and Morgan moved some leaves out the way, "It's locked."

"Emily!" Hotch called out, "If you can hear me, stay away from the door."

Hotch pulled his gun out, shooting at the lock on the metal door. He shot at it again and Dave pulled the lock off of it, pulling open the door all they could see was darkness.

"Emily?" Hotch called out, pulling out a small flashlight, "Emily, I'm here."

"Hotch?" a small voice said, feminine.

Turning his flashlight towards the left, all three men were shocked to see a heavily battered in bruises Emily raised her handcuffed hands up shielding her eyes from the light.

"Emily" Hotch said rushing to her side, "Are you ok?"

Hotch helped undid the handcuffs, not missing the way her face contorted in pain, or the number of bruises she has on her. She looked even worse then she did when she faced off with Cyrus or Doyle combined.

Looking up at the three men, "Where is he?"

"You're going to be ok." Hotch told her softly, taking her hand, hearing a slight whimper from the pain in her wrists.

Hotch and Dave helped her walk up the small steps, both noticing the slowness in her movements, and how tattered and dirty her clothes were.

"Hey Princess" Morgan said pulling her carefully into a hug.

"Thank you," Emily said turning to her friends giving them a small smile, each man wincing at the number of bruises all over her ivory skinned face.

Morgan pulled his coat off, placing it on Emily, he wrapped his hand around her petite body helping her walk across the lawn towards the SUV.

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><p>"Should we get an ambulance?" Dave said lightly.<p>

"No, I'm fine." Emily said turning to face her friend, "I'm fine. I just want to go home."

"Emily?" JJ called out as she stepped out of the house, Reid followed behind both rushing to the battered brunette "Oh God."

JJ's hand touched her face, trying to avoid touching the bruises, "Are you all right?"

Emily nodded, while Reid pulling her into a hug, "I knew we'd find you."

Smiling at him, Emily allowed Morgan to lead her over to the car, getting in, she sat quietly, trying to avoid looking at Hotch.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" Morgan asked, watching as JJ and Reid hurried over to their SUV.

"No, Morgan. No hospitals, it's just some bruises, nothing a few days rests won't cure." Emily told him "Did you guys find Anderson's body?"

Morgan nodded, "You'll have to come to the BAU to give a statement about your abduction and everything that happened."

"I know." Emily told him, "Can we go now?"

Morgan took Emily's hand helping her out of the elevator onto the BAU floor, Garcia stood vigil by the door waiting for her friend.

"Emily" Garcia gasped, her tears in her eyes as she rushed over to Emily.

The blonde's face winced seeing her face, but relief coursed through her veins at seeing she was alive and she was back.

Morgan led her up to the conference room for the interview, he knew that she'd want either him or Dave to do it, she wouldn't want Reid to have to go through the horrors of this. And neither did he.

"Talk to me, tell me what happened." Morgan said sitting across from Emily with a tape recorder, "What time did you go into the parking garage."

"A little after eleven." Emily said, "I had placed my bag on my car, when I heard a noise..."

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><p>Emily sat in her apartment, relief in her heart. She knew she was physically ok, a little sore from her ordeal but she was grateful she was still alive.<p>

But she wished she could say the same for Anderson, he never had a chance and she feels guilty about it.

Emily closed her eyes, trying to block out the images of the beatings she seen Anderson taking, part of her knew that, that sound she'd carry with her for a long time.

And that she'd have to tell this to the shrink she knew she'd have to see when she goes back to work.

She was ready for it, she wanted to get past all this and live. But she was afraid, and she didn't want anyone to know it, she didn't want them to see her as some fragile victim.

That was the only upside with the Doyle fiasco, she wasn't there to see the sympathetic looks and the quiet whispers of concern, but then again they all thought she was dead, and now Anderson was dead and she blamed herself for it even though she it wasn't her fault.

Emily's eyes popped open when she heard the sound of her house phone ringing.

"Hello?" Emily said, grateful for the distraction, she knew that it was better to keep your mind occupied then to focus on the trauma of her recent ordeal.

"Emily?" Garcia's voice said softly, "Would you like to come over and have a girl's night with me and Jayje?"

"No thanks PG" Emily said trying to sound relaxed but finding it hard, "Maybe another night, I just want to get some rest."

"Oh, ok." Garcia said, "Well if you change your mind let me know ok? Anytime, ok?"

"Ok. Good night, Garcia." Emily said hanging up her phone, she promised herself she'd be more sociable tomorrow.

Emily picked up her throw blanket and walked over to her bedroom, she didn't get much sleep when she was captive.

Three days was hardly a stretch for her on a regular day, given what she does for a living but for a kidnapping survivor it was a long time. She grabbed a bottled water on her way to her room and planned to use the sleeping pills she was given for her insomnia after her stabbing and get some rest when a knock stopped her.

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><p>Peering through the peep hole she frowned, and wondered why he was here. He hadn't spoken to her since she was pulled out of the bunker earlier in the morning.<p>

"Yeah?" Emily said biting her lip.

"Can I come in?" Hotch asked cautiously.

"Sure." Emily said letting him in, pulling her sweat shirt down to cover her arms, she didn't want him to openly stare at her latest scars, "So what brings you by at two in the morning?"

"I needed to see if you were okay." Hotch told her watching her sit down on the couch.

"I'm all right." Emily said patting the couch, "Come sit down I don't bite."

Hotch walked over and took a seat on the couch. He turned and looked at her, "I'm sorry."

Emily frowned grabbing at the sleeves of her sweat shirt, "For what?"

"This was all my fault." Hotch told her, "Perotta taking you and Anderson, this was all because of me."

Emily frowned, "No it's not."

Hotch turned to face her, "Yes it is. I'm the one who started all this, when I locked him up. Anderson's dead, you two were kidnapped and tortured, this is all my fault."

Emily moved a strand of loose hair behind her ear, "God can you ever not blame yourself for something? Jesus Hotch, it's not because of you he did this. He did this because he was a sociopath who wanted someone to suffer and he picked Anderson and me. He would of taken anyone that walked down in the parking garage."

"No, Emily. I know he did it because of me..." Hotch said, "And I couldn't even protect you like I could the last time. God what kind of man can't even protect his girlfriend..."

"What?" Emily asked, "Did you just call me your girlfriend?"

"What?" Hotch said, shocked by his own statement, "I... well I wanted to... I want to be. God, I'm sorry, all we had was one kiss."

Emily took a deep breath, looking down at her hands, "Well do you want to be?"

Hotch lightly pulled her head up, "I'd like to try if you want to."

Emily smiled, "I'd like that."

Hotch leaned in, "Can I kiss you?"

Placing her hands on his face pulling him in for a kiss, "You never have to ask that."

Hotch pulled her close to him, "I bet you haven't gotten any sleep?"

"I'm not really tired" Emily told him.

"Because of the nightmares of what happened to you?" Hotch asked.

"No because of what happend to Anderson." Emily said, "I see it everytime I close my eyes."

Pulling her up, "Well you need to get some sleep and I won't leave your side." Hotch told her.

"You promise?" Emily asked walking with him towards her room.

"I promise, I won't let anything happen to you ever again." Hotch told her lying down with her wrapping her in his arms, "And when the nightmares come, we won't be alone."

Pressing a kiss to her forehead while she placed her hand on his heart, "I won't let anyone take you away from me again."

The two fell asleep with the comfort of warmth and safety in each others arms.

* * *

><p>"You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late." Ralph Waldo Emerson<p>

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><p><strong>The End <strong>

Well this was one of the longest dramas I've written. Hope you all liked it, leave a review and let me know.


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